I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
