Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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