In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I will pee on everything he values.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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