I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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