Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
