I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
