You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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