I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
