Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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