Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
