She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
