he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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