Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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