hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
