Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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