i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?