i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay