Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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