Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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