Do vagina's smell?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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