i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He did a backflip because drugs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
