Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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