I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
