so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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