Swine flu is the new snow day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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