take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
