Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize