Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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