The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
