When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
