Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
