She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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