She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if only i could text you this smell
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
