Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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