You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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