sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize