Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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