Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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