If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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