I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
