you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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