good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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