THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
