And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Shame - the story of my life.
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