He kissed a someone with a penis
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
