this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize