i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
