his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we should paint friendship bongs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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