Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
