Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
