So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let's get the cat blown out
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
