Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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