how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
