it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
