Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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