ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
