i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
