I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
