we have pet lesbian snakes
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
