you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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