the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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