My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
