She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
