it wasn't lemon gatorade
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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