So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i drank out of a bidet.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
