i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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