I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
