The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
