I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize