i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
